The One About Hypochondria and Other Stuff

This post can best be understood in the context of my last two posts.  

And while I'm thinking about it, this is (Probably) The (Last) One About Prostitution and Porn.  

And Other Stuff.

I have a friend (who shall remain nameless) who is a hypochondriac.  I mean, her picture could be placed under the dictionary definition of the word hypochondriac.

*In case you don't know, this is a case of the Pot calling the Kettle black. 

**If English is not your first language or if you are too young or too refined to understand that expression, then here is what I mean:  Hello.  My name is Marie, and I am a hypocrite hypochondriac. 

***Please note:  In the following paragraphs, I intend to explain my own absurdities; I mean no disrespect whatsoever to people who are truly afflicted with any type of malady.  Truly.

On a fairly regular basis, my friend and I have conversations about which diseases, disorders, or infections we've contracted since we've last seen each other.  She tends to have spleen, pancreatic, and skin problems while I am prone to exhibit symptoms of any affliction that is described in my presence.

For example:

• When I was 12, I had a severe migraine that turned into meningitis after I watched an episode of 20/20 that featured teenagers who had actually died from meningitis.  It turned out that I simply had a bad headache.
• When I was 5 months pregnant with my first child, I foolishly watched an episode of E.R. (remember that show?) in which a young woman gave birth to her baby FOUR MONTHS TOO SOON.  That same week, I began having pains in my side and actually spent a night in the hospital because I was afraid I was going into labor prematurely.  It turned out that I had eaten something that disagreed with me.
• After watching the movie The Notebook (based on Nicholas Sparks' novel), I diagnosed myself with the early signs of Alzheimer's, which lasted for several days.  In that case, my problems were actually caused by a lack of sleep--my children were quite young and very exhausting at that time.
• Speaking of children, when Drew and Aubrey were 3 and 1, Avian Influenza was a HUGE issue and was ALL OVER the news.  One of them had the sniffles, so I used that as an excuse to have our pediatrician examine them to be sure they hadn't contracted the bird flu.  It turned out that the child in question merely had a cold.
• About five years ago, after teaching a history lesson about the bubonic plague, I went home from work sick with said plague.  Actually, I had a severe sinus infection that kept me home from work for several days.  I had mentioned to my class that I thought I had "the plague," and it turned out that a few of them believed me.
• Last summer, after hearing my mother discuss her problems with arthritis and then later watching an infomercial about medication used to treat rheumatoid arthritis, my hands began to cramp and I was positive that I also had R.A.  I did not, in fact, have R.A.  I was just having hand cramps from learning how to crochet; I suppose I was taking my crochet lessons a bit too seriously and became rather tense, thus causing cramps.
• And speaking of cramps, my lovely mother was having severe leg cramps a few years ago, and she was feeling very poorly one evening when Phil and I stopped by for a visit.  My sympathetic, kind-hearted, tongue-tied husband patted my sweet mother on the shoulder and said, "I'm so sorry Momma G.  Do you get the craps often?"  (If you know my well-mannered, lady-like mother at all, then you understand how embarrassed Phil was and how hilarious I found the situation.)  Phil blushed under his beard, and my mother laughed almost as hard as I did.  (And that incident had nothing to do with the point I plan to make, but I couldn't resist...)

Back to my friend:  she Googles and checks WebMd to find out if she is at risk for particular ailments, and then she actually makes appointments to have the appropriate physicians examine her and run tests to discover if she and the Internet have correctly diagnosed her problems.  

I, on the other hand, also consult with Google and WebMd, but then I wait.  I don't consult a professional.  Mostly, I run through worst-case scenarios in my mind and drive myself crazy until most of my symptoms subside.  Then, I'll laugh at myself and share my concerns with my friend.

So two days ago, I sent a text message to my hypochondriac friend and shared with her my most recent malady.  I won't share the details here, but I had/have good reason to think I should actually consult a physician over the matter.  I didn't follow my normal routine of wait, go crazy, feel better, tell her and laugh about it.  This time, I shared my concerns with her right away because --for my mental and physical health's sake-- I needed someone else to know, and I needed someone to hold me accountable.  I knew if I told her my concerns, she would tell me to do what I already knew I needed to do: make an appointment with a professional to find out what (if anything) is going on.

I knew if I shared these concerns, I would have to follow through and do something about it or my friend would give me no rest.  And guess what happened.?.?.? After I talked to her, I forced myself to call my insurance company, and I found a physician in my network who I can talk to about my concern.  And guess what else?.?.?  My friend did exactly what I needed her to do: she sent me a text bright and early the next morning to see if I had made an appointment.  

(And all is well and all shall be well and there really is no reason for any of us to fret.  If it turns out that there really is any reason to fret, I will let y'all know in a post after my appointment.)

By now, the observant reader (if anyone is still reading, that is) is probably wondering a.) why I subtitled this post "(Probably) The (Last) One About Prostitution and Porn.  And Other Stuff." and b.) what point (if any) I'm trying to make.

Well, dear reader, I'll (finally) get to the point:

A.  The subtitle of this post is what it is because I'm actually about to mention prostitution and porn--I just happened to be long-winded about Other Stuff first.  

And....

B.  My last two (rambling) posts discussed the topics of prostitution and porn addiction (and other addictions and issues), and I couldn't end those discussions without saying this:  

Tell someone.

Come clean.

Get it off your chest. 

Stop creating worst-case scenarios in your mind. 

Stop worrying about what someone will think about you. 

Stop carrying your burden alone. 

For the sake of your mental, physical, and spiritual health, let someone else know what you are struggling with.  You will be amazed at how your struggle, issue, addiction, or secret will begin to lose its power over you once someone else knows....

About a year ago, I had a conversation with another dear friend over dinner, and over the course of the evening, I shared something with her that I've only told one other person on this planet.  And NO, I'm not telling y'all what we talked about, but here's the point:  I had been wrestling with an issue in my life that been a "thorn in my flesh" for years, and because this friend and I have years of friendship, trust, and complete acceptance between us, I was able rid myself of a burden that had caused me MUCH mental and spiritual agony.

You'll never believe what happened:  I immediately felt like a weight lifted from my heart, and SHE broke down in tears because she had been struggling with the exact same thing.  We were able to sympathize with each other, find some relief in the sharing our struggles, and remind each other of what we both know to be true:

 15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but One [Jesus]who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. 16 Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. (Hebrews 4:15-16)

We also were able to open the door for future conversations and for accountability.

My hope and prayer for you, if you too are struggling with ANYTHING that is causing you to feel trapped or guilty or ashamed, is that you will find someone you can trust who will share your burden.  As I mentioned in my last post, JESUS is the one who can remove the burden and addiction of any issue that any of us may have.  You can trust Him with ANYTHING, and in HIM you can find all the mercy and grace that you need.  I'm also suggesting this:

....confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much. (James 5:16)

**Note: this "confession of sins" is not confession so that you'll find the forgiveness you need from God; rather, I think this means that we should share our temptations, struggles, and SINS with trusted friends and/or leaders so that a.) we will have someone to help us and hold us accountable on our road to healing and b.) we will no longer be trapped and driven crazy by what we think someone may say or think about us if they really knew us.

Obviously, we should use much wisdom and discretion in deciding whom we can trust with our burdens.  If you're not sure anyone in your circle of friends or family can handle hearing what you need to share, then I pray you'll be able to find a trusted minister or counselor who can be a listening ear.  Ask God to lead you to someone you can trust.  He'll help you with this.  He wants you to be whole.

There.  I'm done now.  Y'all, for whatever you're dealing with, I pray you find the peace that Christ alone can bring.