The One About Homesickness, Hungary, and Heaven

I got homesick at church tonight.

Not homesick for our house or family in Mississippi, but homesick for my OTHER family--the family that I may never see again on this earth--

One of our sweet missionary friends from Hungary is visiting the U.S. right now.  He's here to raise more financial support for his family's ministry and to spread the word about mission opportunities like the one we were privileged to participate in two years ago.  Istvan shared his testimony and ministry updates with our small group tonight, and when it was time to go-- when we all said our farewells-- the homesickness set in.

Istvan with Phil in Budapest

He's here alone on this trip, but last summer his wife and children traveled to the states with him. When their visit with us came to an end and we said our farewells, they urged us to join them again in the work in Hungary, and the homesickness washed over me...I remember trying to hold back tears.

I've had that same feeling before...

Two years ago I felt it when Betti and Tomo left our camp in Hungary to return to their home in Macedonia. We had been blessed to spend two weeks with them at the Speak Out language camp.... we talked and listened for hours as they shared how Jesus gloriously rescued and redeemed them and how He later opened the doors for them to be missionaries to their own people.  I vividly remember our last evening with them... the prayer, the tears, the hugs... sweet Tomo even gave us a replica of a clay lamp that was used by early Macedonian Christians (the ones mentioned in the book of Acts, y'all).  He encouraged us to be diligent--ready--and consistent in letting our light shine in America. When this faithful couple left us, my heart ached so much.... they invited us to join them on staff at their Macedonian language/evangelistic camp, but only God knows if we will be able to accept that invitation or if we'll ever see them again.

Tomo and Betti after a water gun fight during Speak Out

During that summer in 2012, our family spent nearly five weeks with other believers like Betti, Tomo, and Istvan; our mission was to share the good news of salvation with Hungarian students.  Our time was spent among dedicated brothers and sisters in Christ from all over the world who have left behind homes, home lands, good jobs, extended families, and much more--all for the gospel's sake.  We heard their stories, we watched them minister to lost students, we prayed with them for God to work in mighty ways among the people of Hungary, and we learned from their examples.

And y'all.  Y'ALL.  The Hungarian students....the ones who were already believers and who had decided to join the Speak Out Staff and minister to their peers.... Those young men and women were ON FIRE. Many of them --like my friends Betty and Rebekah-- spent their afternoons witnessing to strangers in the nearby villages as well as dedicating hours to praying for the campers.  Betty and Rebekah even arrived at our going away party in Budapest a few hours early JUST SO THEY WOULD HAVE TIME TO WITNESS TO PEOPLE IN THE AREA.... Y'all.  

It's been two years and still, my heart is so full as I remember the beauty of the body of Christ at work in Hungary.  After all of this, how could we NOT feel like we had indeed become family with these amazing people? For most of our first month back home in the U.S., Phil and I both ached --even cried-- with homesickness for our new family members... 

If you've been made a part of God's family through the work of Christ on your behalf at Calvary, then you may understand this homesickness I'm (so pitifully) trying to describe.  Think of the precious believers you have met and grown to love throughout the course of your life...  The shared experience of being made NEW and being FORGIVEN and having JESUS as a BEST FRIEND can draw strangers together in a matter of moments.  That bond that Jesus creates among His people is hard to describe but SO VERY REAL and PRECIOUS to those of us who know Him. I can't help but think of the many summer camps, youth retreats, and conferences I've attended as well as the different church congregations I've been blessed to worship with.... so many brothers and sisters that I've laughed, shared, and cried with .... so many brothers and sisters I haven't seen in years and who I will not see again....at least, not HERE, anyway... can you relate?  Do you at times feel some homesickness for your Christian family, too?

When we attend the funeral of a fellow believer, even as we grieve, we are greatly comforted by the reality that we will see that loved one again in heaven.  That same feeling of loss, that same ache, and that great hope of reunion is what I'm feeling tonight... except, there hasn't been a funeral.  No one has died.  I'm just missing my family--my brothers and sisters who are a part of God's family all over the globe--and the chances of seeing many of them again on this planet are small....

What a blessing it was to see Istvan again tonight and to hear of the continued work in Hungary.

And what a blessing it will be when "the family" is all together again.  Knowing a day is coming when goodbyes are a thing of the past and knowing we're all finally "home" makes the hope of Heaven even sweeter, doesn't it?  

 Istvan and his wife Isabella

 Tomo and Phil in Budapest

 Ingrid and J.R....they left their secure jobs and home in the U.S. and now live and minister in Hungary

 Istvan and family dressed in costumes for our weekly Staff Hunt

Ingrid and I dressed for Staff Hunt

The Davis Family + Daubenspeck Family = The Davispecks

We shared a home together in Hungary for the month.  Despite our differences, we felt like family.  (We're from the Deep South, y'all,  and they're from Philadelphia, you guys.)

Betty and Rebekah in their staff hunt costumes

....some of my "little sisters" in Christ

I'm not sure which Hungarian student leader this is, (and I actually swiped this photo from a Cru staff member) but I know he's a part of the family, too.  

Take a look at the Speak Out website and video HERE.  FYI: When we were in Hungary in 2012, we were privileged to drive the awesome van that's featured in the video.  

“Do not let your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me. 2 In My Father’s house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you. 3 If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, that where I am, there you may be also."  John 14:1-3 

 9 And they sang a new song, saying,

“Worthy are You to take the book and to break its seals; for You were slain, and purchased for God with Your blood men from every tribe and tongue and people and nation.

10 “You have made them to be a kingdom and priests to our God; and they will reign upon the earth.”  Revelation 5:9-10

9 After these things I looked, and behold, a great multitude which no one could count, from every nation and all tribes and peoples and tongues, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed in white robes, and palm branches were in their hands; 10 and they cry out with a loud voice, saying,

“Salvation to our God who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb.”  Revelation 7:9-10

The One About Hypochondria and Other Stuff

This post can best be understood in the context of my last two posts.  

And while I'm thinking about it, this is (Probably) The (Last) One About Prostitution and Porn.  

And Other Stuff.

I have a friend (who shall remain nameless) who is a hypochondriac.  I mean, her picture could be placed under the dictionary definition of the word hypochondriac.

*In case you don't know, this is a case of the Pot calling the Kettle black. 

**If English is not your first language or if you are too young or too refined to understand that expression, then here is what I mean:  Hello.  My name is Marie, and I am a hypocrite hypochondriac. 

***Please note:  In the following paragraphs, I intend to explain my own absurdities; I mean no disrespect whatsoever to people who are truly afflicted with any type of malady.  Truly.

On a fairly regular basis, my friend and I have conversations about which diseases, disorders, or infections we've contracted since we've last seen each other.  She tends to have spleen, pancreatic, and skin problems while I am prone to exhibit symptoms of any affliction that is described in my presence.

For example:

• When I was 12, I had a severe migraine that turned into meningitis after I watched an episode of 20/20 that featured teenagers who had actually died from meningitis.  It turned out that I simply had a bad headache.
• When I was 5 months pregnant with my first child, I foolishly watched an episode of E.R. (remember that show?) in which a young woman gave birth to her baby FOUR MONTHS TOO SOON.  That same week, I began having pains in my side and actually spent a night in the hospital because I was afraid I was going into labor prematurely.  It turned out that I had eaten something that disagreed with me.
• After watching the movie The Notebook (based on Nicholas Sparks' novel), I diagnosed myself with the early signs of Alzheimer's, which lasted for several days.  In that case, my problems were actually caused by a lack of sleep--my children were quite young and very exhausting at that time.
• Speaking of children, when Drew and Aubrey were 3 and 1, Avian Influenza was a HUGE issue and was ALL OVER the news.  One of them had the sniffles, so I used that as an excuse to have our pediatrician examine them to be sure they hadn't contracted the bird flu.  It turned out that the child in question merely had a cold.
• About five years ago, after teaching a history lesson about the bubonic plague, I went home from work sick with said plague.  Actually, I had a severe sinus infection that kept me home from work for several days.  I had mentioned to my class that I thought I had "the plague," and it turned out that a few of them believed me.
• Last summer, after hearing my mother discuss her problems with arthritis and then later watching an infomercial about medication used to treat rheumatoid arthritis, my hands began to cramp and I was positive that I also had R.A.  I did not, in fact, have R.A.  I was just having hand cramps from learning how to crochet; I suppose I was taking my crochet lessons a bit too seriously and became rather tense, thus causing cramps.
• And speaking of cramps, my lovely mother was having severe leg cramps a few years ago, and she was feeling very poorly one evening when Phil and I stopped by for a visit.  My sympathetic, kind-hearted, tongue-tied husband patted my sweet mother on the shoulder and said, "I'm so sorry Momma G.  Do you get the craps often?"  (If you know my well-mannered, lady-like mother at all, then you understand how embarrassed Phil was and how hilarious I found the situation.)  Phil blushed under his beard, and my mother laughed almost as hard as I did.  (And that incident had nothing to do with the point I plan to make, but I couldn't resist...)

Back to my friend:  she Googles and checks WebMd to find out if she is at risk for particular ailments, and then she actually makes appointments to have the appropriate physicians examine her and run tests to discover if she and the Internet have correctly diagnosed her problems.  

I, on the other hand, also consult with Google and WebMd, but then I wait.  I don't consult a professional.  Mostly, I run through worst-case scenarios in my mind and drive myself crazy until most of my symptoms subside.  Then, I'll laugh at myself and share my concerns with my friend.

So two days ago, I sent a text message to my hypochondriac friend and shared with her my most recent malady.  I won't share the details here, but I had/have good reason to think I should actually consult a physician over the matter.  I didn't follow my normal routine of wait, go crazy, feel better, tell her and laugh about it.  This time, I shared my concerns with her right away because --for my mental and physical health's sake-- I needed someone else to know, and I needed someone to hold me accountable.  I knew if I told her my concerns, she would tell me to do what I already knew I needed to do: make an appointment with a professional to find out what (if anything) is going on.

I knew if I shared these concerns, I would have to follow through and do something about it or my friend would give me no rest.  And guess what happened.?.?.? After I talked to her, I forced myself to call my insurance company, and I found a physician in my network who I can talk to about my concern.  And guess what else?.?.?  My friend did exactly what I needed her to do: she sent me a text bright and early the next morning to see if I had made an appointment.  

(And all is well and all shall be well and there really is no reason for any of us to fret.  If it turns out that there really is any reason to fret, I will let y'all know in a post after my appointment.)

By now, the observant reader (if anyone is still reading, that is) is probably wondering a.) why I subtitled this post "(Probably) The (Last) One About Prostitution and Porn.  And Other Stuff." and b.) what point (if any) I'm trying to make.

Well, dear reader, I'll (finally) get to the point:

A.  The subtitle of this post is what it is because I'm actually about to mention prostitution and porn--I just happened to be long-winded about Other Stuff first.  

And....

B.  My last two (rambling) posts discussed the topics of prostitution and porn addiction (and other addictions and issues), and I couldn't end those discussions without saying this:  

Tell someone.

Come clean.

Get it off your chest. 

Stop creating worst-case scenarios in your mind. 

Stop worrying about what someone will think about you. 

Stop carrying your burden alone. 

For the sake of your mental, physical, and spiritual health, let someone else know what you are struggling with.  You will be amazed at how your struggle, issue, addiction, or secret will begin to lose its power over you once someone else knows....

About a year ago, I had a conversation with another dear friend over dinner, and over the course of the evening, I shared something with her that I've only told one other person on this planet.  And NO, I'm not telling y'all what we talked about, but here's the point:  I had been wrestling with an issue in my life that been a "thorn in my flesh" for years, and because this friend and I have years of friendship, trust, and complete acceptance between us, I was able rid myself of a burden that had caused me MUCH mental and spiritual agony.

You'll never believe what happened:  I immediately felt like a weight lifted from my heart, and SHE broke down in tears because she had been struggling with the exact same thing.  We were able to sympathize with each other, find some relief in the sharing our struggles, and remind each other of what we both know to be true:

 15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but One [Jesus]who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. 16 Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. (Hebrews 4:15-16)

We also were able to open the door for future conversations and for accountability.

My hope and prayer for you, if you too are struggling with ANYTHING that is causing you to feel trapped or guilty or ashamed, is that you will find someone you can trust who will share your burden.  As I mentioned in my last post, JESUS is the one who can remove the burden and addiction of any issue that any of us may have.  You can trust Him with ANYTHING, and in HIM you can find all the mercy and grace that you need.  I'm also suggesting this:

....confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much. (James 5:16)

**Note: this "confession of sins" is not confession so that you'll find the forgiveness you need from God; rather, I think this means that we should share our temptations, struggles, and SINS with trusted friends and/or leaders so that a.) we will have someone to help us and hold us accountable on our road to healing and b.) we will no longer be trapped and driven crazy by what we think someone may say or think about us if they really knew us.

Obviously, we should use much wisdom and discretion in deciding whom we can trust with our burdens.  If you're not sure anyone in your circle of friends or family can handle hearing what you need to share, then I pray you'll be able to find a trusted minister or counselor who can be a listening ear.  Ask God to lead you to someone you can trust.  He'll help you with this.  He wants you to be whole.

There.  I'm done now.  Y'all, for whatever you're dealing with, I pray you find the peace that Christ alone can bring.

The One About Prostitution, Pornography, and Other Stuff, Part II

This blog post will make more sense if you read the previous post.  Click HERE if you want to be able to understand this entry in context.  If not, carry on then.

Issues.  That’s kind of where I left off on my last post in which I spent a great deal of time discussing pornography.

That whole porn discussion came about because of some media coverage of a local prostitution sting.  I started thinking about how so many regular people can end up in very unfortunate situations (like having their mug shots on TV) because of choices that lead to habits that become addictions, etc.

For some, and let’s be real people, for MANY, pornography is an issue.  As I discussed (or rambled) in that previous post, anything that we fail to master can become our master and eventually ruin us.  Porn is a huge issue, but there are others.  If there is anything in our lives that we depend on or think we MUST have to find true comfort and satisfaction, then….we have issues.  Or addictions.  Or, dare I say it…. sin.  (?)  Ouch.  No one likes that “s” word.  Ouch.  I really feel like backspacing and deleting that, but I think I’ll just keep going and leave it there because it is what it is. Right?

Ouch.

This is my blog, and I can say what I want to.  I could create some much more interesting identity and I could tell some wonderful stories to make you think I have it all together.  But, most of you who read this anyway really DO know the real me, so trying to be anything other than what I am would be pointless.  And dishonest. Therefore, to act as if I don’t have issues would be wrong.  Right?

A few weeks ago I watched the documentary Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead.  One scene that really disturbed me was when a morbidly obese man shared that his family had just asked him if he had any objections to being cremated when he died; they were concerned that they wouldn’t be able to afford the specially made casket that would be necessary to hold a man of his size, and cremation would be a much more economical option in his situation.  How awkward and embarrassing--especially when the obese man wasn't necessarily at death's door.  But that could actually be the case for someone like me with all of MY “issues.”  I may not be the one busted on the news for involvement in a prostitution scandal, but my own “issues” could still lead me to much pain and embarrassment if they aren’t properly dealt with.

And that’s where I left off with my last blog post.  What do we do--

 –and I type “WE” because I don’t think I’m the only person out there who struggles with some sort of addiction, issue, or that “s” word—

What do WE do about our struggles?  Are we stuck forever?

Thanks be to God, no.  We are not stuck.

A few months back, I read some awesome articles that dealt specifically with the issue of addiction to Internet pornography, but the help offered for overcoming this addiction can ABSOLUTELY apply to any other addiction or "issue."  In one of the articles, the author, John Piper, references a study that was done that has shown that these things:  (please stay with me here)

• Internet pornography affects the human brain in the way that both cocaine and heroin affect the brain,

• Internet pornography literally "changes the physical brain matter within the brain" by forming neurological pathways which "require pornographic material in order to trigger" the desired sensations of pleasure and release, and

• while chemical substances like cocaine and heroin will eventually be metabolized out of the body, pornographic images cannot be filtered out of the brain because they are stored there permanently.

If you've never read or heard about this research, you really ought to check out the links below because I have neither the ability nor the time to fully explain all that studies have revealed about the "addictiveness" of pornography.

The long and short of it it this:  pornography makes a literal mark on the brain and then, because it triggers addictive brain chemicals, it causes the porn user to crave more porn in the same way a drug addict craves his or her next high.

So what is a person struggling with a pornography addiction to do?  Where should a person begin to find help?  Well, he or she --along with anyone else with any other type of addiction or "issue"-- can begin by asking God for a transformed mind.  

"...we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another..." (2 Corinthians 3:18) 

This may seem rather cliche' at first, but it's true.  It's real.  It works.  Beholding the glory of Jesus--learning of Him, meditating on Him and His tremendous love, seeking Him in His Word--THIS leads to transformation.  I've seen it happen in the lives of people I know.  I've seen for myself how God radically changes the thoughts, hearts, habits, dreams, and actions of men and women who have stuffed their brains and hearts full of Jesus and His Word; EVERYTHING about them changes.  
I'm not saying their struggles have disappeared completely, but I'm saying they are no longer slaves being dragged down the pornographic paths that have been imprinted on their brains.  Piper writes, 

we should take hold of this amazing connection and claim what the Bible claims: Beholding the glory of the Lord, we are being changed (2 Corinthians 3:18). Of course seeing nudes changes the brain. But why should we think that seeing the glory of Christ exerts a weaker change? 

If brain paths pervert our affections and our behavior, do not make the wild mistake of assuming sanctification can only make weaker paths. 

Paul calls you to “be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new man, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness” (Ephesians 4:23–24). Watch out, lest you assume that the renewal of “the spirit of the mind” leaves no trace in the paths of the brain. It does. 

Paul says, “Put on the new man, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator” (Colossians 3:10). If the seeing of Internet nakedness creates new paths in the brain, how much more the seeing of Christ — the spiritual sight of “the gospel of the glory of Christ who is the image of God” (2 Corinthians 4:4). We are not left to create new brains for ourselves: “we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus” (Ephesians 2:10). Do not be cowed by brain research. God made the brain and wrote the Book. 

Y'all, I don't have permission to name names, but I KNOW THIS WORKS.  REALLY.  

If you are struggling with addictions or issues of any kind, you--WE-- really can find true transformation in Christ.  He can lead you--He can lead ANY OF US--to real freedom.  The process of changing your brain may also involve some sort of counseling and accountability, but as you seek Him, you can trust Him to lead you along the paths and to the people who can help you along the way.  Really.  You can trust Him.  He really IS the answer.

If any part of this rambling post resonates with you, please consider reading the articles and listening to the podcast links below--they will be more helpful and more coherent than I can ever be. One of Piper's articles gives some especially awesome strategies on defeating temptation; his remarks on "the bloody Christ, body odors, and bears" are thought-provoking and liberating (and hilarious).

 "Hijacking Back Your Brain From Porn"

"Pornography: The New Narcotic"

The Andy Savage Show: Purity is Sexy, Part 2--Guest Michael Horner (Episode #75)
Click Here