The Funky New Year

Well, here we are, closer to February than to the New Year, and I'm just now writing my first post for 2013. 

So, Hello.  How've you been?  How's the family?  Got any dreams, goals, or grand schemes that you're cooking up for the New Year?  How are those resolutions going? 

This year, the change from the old year to the new year was one of those just-another-day-only-now-I-have-to-remember-to-write-a-new-number-in-the-date kind of changes.  You know how some years, you're all, "Oh wonderful! It's a brand new year full of promise and new beginnings and fresh starts"?  Yeah, I'm usually like that myself--all optimistic and full of resolve to change old habits and begin new ones. 

Not this year, though.  I started the year in kind of a funk, and it's been kinda hard to shake it.

For clarification, I'm including several definitions of "funk," in case you aren't exactly sure what I mean.

funk [fəŋk]  

1. n. a bad odor; a stench. : What is that ghastly funk in here?
2. n. tobacco smoke. : Most of those important decisions are made by party hacks in funk-filled back rooms.
3. n. a depressed state. : I've been in such a funk that I can't get my work done.
4. n.  cowardice; terror. : She suffers this terrible funk whenever she has to give a talk.
5. n. a kind of blues rock; jazz based on gospel music. : Man, groove on that funk, would ya?

My personal brand of New Year's funk has nothing to do with a stench, smoke, cowardice, or music.  (However, if my funk did involve music, it wouldn't be nearly as hard to shake it.) 
(Bad joke, I know, but I couldn't resist.)

The definition that is most fitting for my funk would be #3, a depressed state, but maybe not so much depressed as blah.

Yesterday, though, I think some of funk started to lift.  Everything's gonna be just fine.  God's still on His throne, and His Word is just as full of promise, new beginnings, and fresh starts as it always has been.

See, yesterday, I told the Lord some things.....they were things that were just between us, so I'll not tell you the details....and after I told Him what I had on my mind, I really believe He spoke to me.  Not audibly, mind you.  I've never heard Him audibly speak, but I believe He could if He had a mind to.  Anyway, I believe He spoke because of some things He led me to in scripture and even because of an email in my inbox that spoke so much of what I had just been talking to Him about. 

Here's what was in the email:

Jim Elliot, a famous 20^th century missionary to the Auca Indians in Ecuador, once wrote in his journal,

I think the devil has made it his business to monopolize on three elements: noise, hurry, crowds. If he can keep us hearing radios, gossip, conversation, or even sermons, he is happy. But he will not allow quietness… Let us resist the devil in this by avoiding noise as much as we can, purposefully seeking to spend time alone, facing ourselves in the Word…Satan is aware of where we find our strength. May he not rob us!

Jim Elliot, Shadow of the Almighty, 112-113

[the email was sent from The Radical.net Blog] 

 

Avoiding the noise.
Purposefully spending time alone and facing ourselves in the Word.

I really believe that most of my funk issues stem from the noise level in my life.  I'm not talking about the noise that comes along with the territory of being a mother.  I'm talking about the noise that I create or even seek out for myself.

Like iPhones.
And Facebook.
And Twitter.
And Pinterest.
And podcasts.
And talk radio.
And blogs.
And Ruzzle.
And books.
And sewing.
And art projects.
And the list goes on and on and on.

I think I have so much noise in my life right now that my priorities are out of order, and thus, the funk has settled in.

But it doesn't have to stay.  Not at all. 

For my entire adult life, it seems like every issue or struggle I have always comes back to this:

But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.  (Matthew 6:33)
 

He is first.
His plans before mine.
His ways and not mine.
He increases while I decrease.

It's amazing how--when I remember that this is His world and not mine, and when I put Him first--He never causes me to feel like I'm lacking anything that I truly need.  Whatever I'm in need of, He always provides.

Putting Him first and escaping the noise....that's how I'm shaking this funk.

Wishing you all a Happy, Funk-Free New Year.

Christmas Ponderings and Prayers

Christmastime is here.  How on earth has this year flown by so quickly?  This morning I found myself reflecting over the year and our lives and God’s goodness.  As  I was reading over the familiar Christmas texts, I saw some things that I will be pondering in my heart for a while.

For instance, I noticed in Luke 1:78 that God’s mercy is described as tender mercy.  How great is that?  He shows compassion, a divine act of favor, and doesn’t give us what we deserve, and He’s so sweet about it—gentle, loving, tender. 

·         He doesn’t remind us of our past failures and gloat over His goodness versus our sinfulness.

·         As far as the east is from the west, that’s how far He removes our transgressions, and He chooses to remember our sins no more. 

·         In His tender mercy, He allows us to respond to Him in love and gratitude without shame, fear, or dread.

·         He doesn’t treat us as our sins deserve.  Rather than giving us the punishment we deserve, sent His only begotten Son to suffer and die in our place. 

George Whitefield wrote, “Let the birth of a Redeemer, which redeemed us from sin, from wrath, from death, from hell, be always remembered; may this Savior’s love never be forgotten!”  In His tender mercy, God sent His Son so that we may receive exactly what we don’t deserve:  forgiveness of sins, a relationship with the King of the Universe, and eternity in heaven with Him. 

Re-reading the familiar texts about that Redeemer who came as an infant also caused me to consider my own children.  Babies aren’t tiny, helpless, and totally dependent upon their parents for very long at all.  It seems like I blinked and my babies are nearly grown.  Phil and I only have a few more years with them in our home—Lord willing—and some of the verses I read today gave me some fresh insight on how I can pray for them as grow.   Here’s what I wrote in my journal:

·         Lord, may my children be great in Your sight like John the Baptist, and may they choose to be set apart—different from the crowds--  so they may be focused on and useful to You (Luke 1:15).

·         Lord, I’m asking for Your blessing and favor and help on their behalf because I believe that nothing is impossible with you (Luke 1:37).

·         Please help them—even now—to make choices that will honor You and will keep them from experiencing the worst of sin’s consequences.  Just as you were with John, please let Your hand be with them (Luke 1:66) and may others watch Your work through them and marvel at YOUR greatness.

·         Lord, may they experience, enjoy, and embrace your promises and true intimacy with the Savior so that they may serve you without fear, in holiness and righteousness before You all the days of their lives.  May they grow and become STRONG in spirit (Luke 1:80).

·         May they be like the shepherds who, after hearing about the babe in the manger, made widely known the saying that was told them concerning the Child (Luke 1:17), and when others hear that message, may they marvel at what they hear.

·         May they be full of faith like the old man Simeon—just and devout and waiting on You—SURE of You (Luke 2:25).

·         May Your Spirit be in them and upon them.  May they be led of Your Spirit (Luke 2:27) all of their days.

·         May they be like Anna (Luke 2:38)—faithful in service to You and Your church and eager to proclaim Your salvation and redemption.

·         May they be obedient to Your instructions like Joseph—even when they don’t fully understand or can’t see the full picture of what You’re doing (Matthew 1:24-25, 2:13-15, 21).

·         Only YOUR Son is perfect, Lord, so I don’t ask for perfection for my kids.  I do pray, though, that in Your tender mercy, You may grant that they –like Jesus—may become strong  in spirit and filled with wisdom, and may Your grace be upon them (Luke 2:40).

·         May they be like your Son when He was twelve; even now, may they be about Your business (Luke 2:49).

·         May they, like Jesus, increase in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man (Luke 2:52).

You, Lord, are greater than our fears or our challenges or our tendencies…. I submit all of my concerns for their well-being, growth, maturity, and soundness to You.  I trust You for healing and victory over things that are beyond our understanding and out of our control.  I’m believing You for sound minds, for self-control, for passions reigned in and made subject to Your will and Your plans, for zealous and fervent spirits that long for and walk with You all of their days, for an intense desire and love for TRUTH and a disgust for lies….may they walk in Your ways and be found in You, having a righteousness that is not their own but is from CHRIST.  Use them, Lord….they belong to You.

[Are you still there, dear Reader?  Sometimes the ink flows a bit fast and freely when I journal….]

When our babies were still babies, we dedicated them to the Lord in our church.  (Some folks baptize and christen infants.  Our particular persuasion of Protestantism “dedicates” babies.)  We told the Lord then, and we tell Him now, that they are His.  We recognize that they are gifts given to us only for a season.  I pray we love and train them well while we have them.  

As for their futures….that belongs to God.  I often think of our friends Jim and Marshall Lea Creecy when I consider our kids and their futures…. The Creecys have watched and prayed as God has used their children to spread the gospel on just about every continent.   For eight years, their daughter has lived and ministered in Seoul, South Korea—only 30 minutes from North Korea.  Their son hasn’t yet been to Antarctica, and I’m not sure if he’s been to Australia, but he has lived and served Jesus in some areas where he could have been killed if his true mission had been widely known.  When people ask Mr. Jim and Mrs. Marshall Lea how they deal with letting both of their kids go across the world to sometimes dangerous places, they just say that they would rather leave their kids in God’s hands across the world than to insist upon them living close by and out of God’s will.  Mrs. C. often says that they are much safer in God’s will “over there” than they would be here at home.  That’s what I want for my children…. Security in the hands of the Almighty, even if that means I have to watch Him lead them across the world. 

So, there you have it.  Ponderings and prayers during this Christmas season….ponderings and prayers for now and for days and years to come…. Merry Christmas, y’all.   

The One Where Someone Else Faces Her Fear

This blog has turned into a journal of sorts, so dearest readers, feel free to skim or completely ignore this and any other post that wears on your nerves.

I just read a "tweet" on twitter that linked to a blog written by a Canadian Jesus-loving girl. In her post, Sarah Bessey wrote of facing her biggest fear and how it didn't turn out as she expected. According to Bessey, speaking about certain issues in public or on camera causes her incredible fear and anxiety. Here's part of what she wrote:

....I lost it.

I did. I blubbered. I cried. I was sweating. I was red-faced. I kept stopping in the middle to compose myself. I felt like running away. I sobbed. I had to restart three times. I was shaking. It was horrible, ugly. And my voice shook and squeaked, and I barked out sobs a couple of times.
It was one-part true emotion for the work we were undertaking and my passion for the Legacy Project, but it was also the fear choking me at the same time.
But I did it. When I finished, I laid my head on the desk and cried.

Strangely, I don't have the same fear. Thanks to a pushy caring pastor's wife, I was forced to get over that particular fear when I was but a wee middle school girl. (Who am I kidding? I have NEVER been a "wee" one.) However, I can completely relate to Bessey's gut-wrenching description of experiencing and facing fear. While reading it, I cried along with her, and then I cried when I realized how her words spoke to my own issues.

I'm not afraid of public speaking. Put me on stage--with or without a script--or put me in front of a classroom full of teenagers, and I'm (strangely) OK.

I'm afraid of private speaking.

You know what I mean. One-on-one. Especially when I don't know the person well or at all.

Alot of my fear stems from self-consciousness about my size. Now that I think about it, I find it very strange that I'm not afraid of being fat in public; apparently, I'm terrified of being fat in front of just a few people a time.... Weird.

When you want to get to the ugly truth, though, my self-consciousness is just a warped kind of sinful pride. I'm too preoccupied with myself and with how others perceive me. When it comes to genuine, Christ-centered living, this fear and preoccupation can destroy my effectiveness in His kingdom. It's time to take the focus away from myself and put it back where it's supposed to be: on Christ.

My weight is an issue. It IS a stumbling block for me and possibly for others, too. This weight thing MUST be dealt with.  More importantly, though, this fear--this sinful obsession with myself--must go.

And now that I've called this particular "spade" a "spade," God's gonna make me deal with it.

I'm going to be hammering out these issues of weight and fear for a while, I suppose.

Here's the rest of what Sarah Bessey wrote:

It was every bit as awful as I’d imagined, but I did it anyway.

I thought I would be rewarded for my efforts by a good experience.....But it doesn’t always work that way.

Sometimes the first step is just as awful as you imagined.

But you do it anyway.

And you keep doing it, over and over, until the root of that fear is dug out of the rocky hard soil, and you are free of it at last, and I believe God is making something beautiful out of it all.

Let's consider this post as a first step taken.

All I can do now is dry my tears and say, "Amen."

What about you?  What are you afraid of?

*************Here's the link to Sarah Bessey's original post. I've not read much else that she's written, so don't hold me responsible for her personal perspectives :) *************************

http://sarahbessey.com/in-which-i-confront-one-of-my-great-fear/