The One About Prostitution and Pornography. And other stuff. Part I

Phil is home sick today, and the temperature outside has been below freezing for several hours, so we’ve been taking it easy this evening.  My wonderful sis-in-law is taking our kids to their weekly MMA class so I can keep an eye on my guy who is feeling weak because a.) he’s been “flu-ish” and b.) he hasn’t eaten since Saturday night.  If you know us, then you KNOW abstaining from food for that long is not normal.  Other than Phil’s illness and lack of appetite, though, everything else at La Casa de Davis is pretty much normal. 

After watching the first five minutes of the 5 o’clock news, though, I started thinking that life in other places may be suddenly ABnormal for many other people tonight. 

So we’re watching tv and Phil tells me to turn the channel to see if a recent Facebook news post would be featured, and sure enough, there it was:  15 men and women were arrested today during a prostitution sting at a local hotel.  What really captured my attention was that the one mug shot shown on the newscast was that of a man who is a teacher and assistant coach at the high school where my son attended football camp—where some of my friends’ children are students—where people I know are employed.  

The newscast’s website showed the mug shots of the other people who were arrested in the sting, and several of them look like people who you might see at work, the bank, grocery store, or even at church. Probably, a few of them have families—children, spouses, parents—who are having a very ABnormal evening now that their loved ones have been caught and publicly exposed as a participants in a particularly (in my opinion) embarrassing criminal activity.   I’m thinking that life will never be the same for most of those involved in or affected by today’s prostitution sting. 

So I’m wondering what could’ve happened

or what choices were made

or what habits were formed that set those 15 people on a path that led to being arrested for prostitution or for solicitation of prostitution….

If you’ve spent any time at all reading my older blog posts, you know that I use this site for sharing family happenings, pictures, and random thoughts, and I have even used this blog as a “journal” of sorts.  I make no claims of expertise on ANY subject area, so keep in mind that I’m not trying to prove a point, win an argument, or pick a fight.  I’m just “thinking out loud” but not actually out loud, unless YOU’RE reading my thoughts out loud. 

Anywho. 

How does that happen, though?  The committing of acts that lead to the committing of crimes that lead to the whole thing of getting caught and being put on television and on the WWW for God (who already knew) and now for EVERYBODY ELSE to see?

I think it’s just like Jesus’ little brother James said: each one of us can be drawn away, enticed, and even baited by our own desires or lusts.  Then, those desires can give birth to sin which can grow to full maturity and then leads to death (See James 1:14-15). 

I think it’s the little things that turn into bigger things that become habits that lead to addictions that end up destroying us…. I cannot speak for those souls who were featured on the news tonight, and I’m not trying to explain why they did what they did. 

I know I’m rambling here, but the issue that I automatically think of in any instance of sexual misconduct is the issue of pornography, and pornography, I believe, is one of the most addictive, destructive, and DEADLY forms of evil that has infiltrated our culture, churches, homes, heads, and hearts. 

Pornographic images slither in like a serpent and bite with a venom that may either immediately or eventually ruin its victim…it’s different for everyone, but the results are devastating. 

Today’s news broadcast has me thinking about some conversations and confessions that I’ve heard and been a part of over the past few years…. Pornography has crept into many of our lives in sometimes subtle and oftentimes OBVIOUS ways, and we don’t always recognize its presence.  Or if we do recognize its presence, we may not immediately recognize its power or its potential for destroying our lives. 

It may have started with look at a magazine at a friend’s house. 

Or knowledge learned from someone who had NO business sharing that knowledge.

Or the discovery of erotic scenes in “romance novels.”

Or an unsolicited image that popped up while you were minding your own business on the www. 

Or websites that you visited for “informational purposes.”

Or risqué commercials or television shows or movies that no one knew you saw.  

Or the Devil knows what else. 

I know one young person who saw his first glimpse of porn in his middle school bathroom; someone had stuffed a pornographic picture into the paper towel dispenser, and he became an innocent victim who later became a willing participant….

You may think I’m overreacting here, but I’ve heard so many stories—from people I’ve never met and from some who I know personally—of how one thing leads to another.  And another.  Then another.  And sometimes, things happen that were never supposed to happen.  Hearts get broken.  Relationships are ruined.  Marriages are ended.  Reputations are destroyed. 

And mug shots could even be featured on the evening news.

Honestly, any and every addiction we have has the same potential to destroy us…. It usually begins with a desire that starts small but then becomes enormous—the thing that we fail to master becomes our master…. it isn’t just porn….it could be anything. 

The thing that we fail to master becomes our master….

We don’t have to be porn addicts to have issues, friends.  If we’re thinking, breathing, and existing on planet earth, we can have issues.  Some may be small, quirky, or cute, even.  Like having to eat M&M’s one color at a time.  But other issues…

…..like wanting and depending upon too much of anything or anyone for satisfaction or comfort…..

our “issues” can be devastating if they become our masters.

God help us.

That’s the answer.

GOD can help us.  Really. 

We weren’t created to be slaves to our desires.  We were made for more.

I’m calling it quits on this entry because I’ve rambled on for a long time now, but I’m going to post another entry where I’ll include the hope and help that is there for those who really want it.

 

4-H and a Photo Re-Cap of 2013

Is it me, or was it July just yesterday?  I heard someone say once that sometimes the days go slowly while the months and years fly by.  Can I get an amen?  Some days seem to never end, yet here we are, quickly approaching the end of another year.... 

Since a few of my faraway family and friends like to keep up with what happens in my little family, I decided it's time to post some pictures to recap what we've been up to during the past year.  Most of these pics have already been posted on Instagram or Facebook, but you're welcome to stay a while and scroll through the silliness. 

This year, the Desoto County 4-H Club has kept us hopping, and we've loved E.V.E.R.Y. second of it.  We started the 4-H year with shooting sports in the Spring.  Then, Drew completed the Poultry Chain project sponsored by Mississippi State.  Right now, Drew and Aubrey are beginning to study pig and goat anatomy to prepare for Livestock Judging competition in January; they will be judged on their abilities to judge livestock. They're also learning public speaking, working with a team, improving study and research skills, increasing their vocabulary, improving their memorization skills, learning how to state and defend positions in debates/arguments, and SO. MUCH. MORE.  We LOVE us some 4-H, y'all.

Aubrey shot targets with her pink Daisy BB gun.  Her age group isn't allowed to use real ammunition, thanks be to God.

Competition was in Charleston on the day before she turned 10.  Baby girl placed 5th!

Drew had to learn to shoot his .22 in three different positions: standing, kneeling, and prone (on his belly).  Our 4-H leaders were so helpful and patient, and they taught both kids so much.

 

Drew had to wait in line for almost 3 hours to be able to compete because SO many people competed with .22 rifles.  Aubrey wandered around in the mud and grass while we waited.  And waited.  And waited.

Drew placed 6th in his division.  Don't you love his camo gun case and Duck Commander t-shirt?

 

Twenty barred Plymouth Rock chicks were delivered to our house only days before the district shooting competition.  They lived IN MY ROOM for two weeks before they moved TO THE PLAYROOM.  We sorta jumped into the Poultry Chain project before we "counted the cost."

Twenty chicks survived until Memorial Day.  We left them on the front porch one afternoon for some fresh air, and we think six of them were --literally--scared to death by a stray cat that wandered up to our house that day.  Poor chickies.

Our 4-H Extension Agent Jessica showed Aubrey how to put metal identification bands on the chicks' wings.

Jessica offered to let me try, but the thought, sound, and feel of the metal piercing the web under the  chick's wing made me queasy.  I opted to photograph the moment instead.

Once the chicks were out of the brooding phase, Drew and his cousins moved the birds to their new home in Poppy and Nanny's coop (which is just down the driveway from us).

They grew quite a bit in just a little more than a month.

Drew and Joey hauling stuff

 

Chicks with chicks

 

 

 

 

Can you believe how much they grew from June to September????

The chickens had to be bathed before the county chicken show in September.  It took a village.

Most of the birds relaxed and napped when we dried their feathers with the blow dryer.

Drew showed the "girls" at the Desoto/Tate County Poultry Show.

Drew was a little offended that the elderly judge grabbed the chickens by the legs and held them upside down.

 

He won 1st Place in the Jr. Division Meat Chickens for Desoto County and tied for Best Overall Meat Chickens among the Desoto and Tate County competitors.  This meant he qualified to show his birds at the state poultry show.

Drew competed against 20-25 other kids in his division.

Not everyone walked away with one of these.  You wouldn't BELIEVE how intense some of the parents of the competitors were.  You'd almost think it was a toddler beauty pageant..

 

Aubrey had a great time looking around while her brother waited for judging.

See what those judges did?  They grabbed those poor girls by the legs and held them upside down.

Drew had to wait nearly an hour for his turn to speak with the judges and answer any questions they had about his experience in the poultry project.

That is a picture of MY BOY receiving a 5th place trophy and a check for $100.  We're so proud of his hard work.

After the award ceremony, his birds were sold at an auction for $100.  Next year, he wants to try to win the Grand Champion Jr. Meat Division Trophy and the $1,000 prize.

On November 1, one of the chickens presented us with our very first egg.  I'm almost embarrassed about all the whooping and dancing that went on.... Almost.

 

Now that he knows a thing or two about poultry, Drew is moving on to swine.  No, we're not raising a hog; he's just learning all about what makes a pig good for the market or good for breeding.  Aubrey decided she wants to focus on goats.  I'll let you know how they do with their livestock judging next year.

 

One last thing:  just in case one of you dear readers has a child who would possibly like to try out some 4-H activities, let me assure you that 4-H is more than a group that raises and judges animals.  It offers opportunities for kids to learn about and participate in things like engineering, robotics, interior design, computer science, photography, fashion design, modeling, etiquette, cooking, sewing, crafting, leadership, gardening/horticulture, entomology, ATV riding and safety, and on and on and on....

 

And in case you DON'T have a child who would like to investigate 4-H, thanks for stopping by!  

 

 

Trafficking in the U.S.: How Young Girls are Recruited and Exploited

If you're a semi-regular reader and you're wondering why I'm writing about the topic of trafficking, then click here for an explanation.  Then, please come back!

Before I continue, I need to remind you that I am not an expert on this topic and that I'm simply passing on the information and resources that I've come across over the past two years.  I welcome any feedback or input that would expand on this subject or that would link us to more information.  Also, I'd really love to hear if you know of someone or if you yourself are doing something to raise awareness and take action against this horrific problem in our country and in our world.

Because this subject is so huge, I'll never be able to fully cover every aspect of this issue.  I'm just going to do what I can, and maybe somehow it will help at least one person.

Shared Hope International
Founded by former U.S. Congresswoman Linda Smith, Shared Hope exists to eradicate the problem of trafficking across the world by promoting prevention efforts, by working to offer restoration to victims who have escaped from the sex industry, and by bringing justice through policy and legislative measures.

Just in case you aren't one hundred percent sure what sex trafficking is, then here is the definition from Smith's organization:

Sex trafficking is when a commercial sex act is induced by force, fraud or coercion OR when the person induced to perform the act is under 18 years old. A commercial sex act means any item of value is traded for any sexual service (prostitution, pornography, or sexual performance). Domestic minor sex trafficking is the commercial sexual exploitation of American children within U.S. borders for monetary or other compensation (shelter, food, drugs, etc.). This is synonymous with child sex slavery, sex slavery, child sex trafficking, prostitution of children, and commercial sexual exploitation of children (CSEC). 

I first heard of Shared Hope just a few weeks ago from my father.  He had listened to a two-part Focus on the Family radio broadcast that make his blood boil.  The broadcast, which aired on May 22-23, featured Smith along with "Brianna," one of the young ladies that Shared Hope helped to escape from the dark world of sex trafficking.

On the broadcast, both Brianna and Smith exposed some of the methods that are being used to "recruit" young girls into the sex industry.  (According to Sharedhope.org, the AVERAGE age that a child is first exploited through trafficking is 13--this means some are even younger.  That is one of the statistics that grieved my father so...)  These are just a few of the things that I remember hearing and reading about concerning the manipulation of girls by traffickers:

•  Using a "lover boy" technique that involves pursuing a relationship with a vulnerable girl thereby gaining her trust, loyalty, and eventually consent

• Showing up at school or sports activities, malls, coffee shops, or wherever kids gather.  They stalk their prey, sometimes for months.

• Learning routines.  They are very patient.  According to Smith, if the girls notice and are uncomfortable with the presence of an older man, they will send in a younger middle school or high school male to resume the manipulation.

•  Building friendship and trust by appearing to have interests, dreams, and goals in common.  Sometimes this is done by a slightly older male who later passes the girl off to a more experienced man who continues the manipulation and begins the process of using her or selling her to a pimp.

• Giving gifts, taking them shopping, taking them to movies, convincing them to skip school or sneak out of their homes, letting them ride in nice cars

• Convincing them their families are keeping them from fun and excitement, and then offering chances to go on "dates" to exciting places in other cities (which lead to passing the girls off to "pimps" or "buyers") 

•  Inviting them to parties with older teens or with adults where the girls are then encouraged to dance/strip or perform sex acts.  Later, the traffickers may blackmail the girls by threatening to tell their friends and family what they did or even by threatening to show pictures of what they did. 

•  Asking the girl to do them a "favor" by helping them make some money quickly to help them out of some trouble.  The "favor" usually involves stripping, being featured in some type of pornography, or performing a sex act for a paying customer.

• Threatening to pursue a relationship with a younger family member if the girl doesn't comply because some girls will actually cooperate with a trafficker rather than put a loved one at risk.  

Those few bullet points are by no means an exhaustive list of their methods and madness, but these are some of the ways traffickers trap girls from all walks of life.  Although girls from backgrounds of extreme poverty are usually the easiest to victimize, this also happens to girls from "normal" homes, neighborhoods, and communities.  Younger males are often coerced to help with recruitment by promises of cash, clothing, cars, or sometimes because they are involved in a gang.  Is it just me, or is it possible that some of these guys are victims as well?

I'm overwhelmed with the enormity of this issue, especially when I consider that each victim is a daughter, sister, niece, granddaughter, friend, or neighbor to someone..... Based on some of the material I've read, I can think of at least one girl I knew who was possibly involved or at least was possibly being recruited, and I can think of at least one girl I know who could be an easy target.  God help us help them.

 Let me close by giving you some links that will help you learn more from and about Shared Hope and the ways they can can help you get involved. I'll also post some links to some videos/testimonials and broadcasts.

Click on these links for more:

How to recognize a trafficker &
Warning Signs that someone is being trafficked


FAQs about Trafficking (this also includes a helpful PDF fact sheet that provides statistics)

View Your State's "Report Card" to find out how it is legally responding to the crime of domestic minor sex trafficking.  **My home state scored a D.  California and many others scored F. It's appalling.  Louisiana has the highest grade in the nation so far--a B. If you want to see on what criteria the states are graded, click the link, and you can also find out how to contact your state legislatures and voice your concern.

Learn more about Shared Hope International and read testimonies of hope, find resources, educate yourself, get involved, and DO SOMETHING.

Below are the links to a few broadcasts and videos.  I highly recommend listening to the two Focus broadcasts.

Focus on the Family's Radio Broadcast:  Exposing the Dark World of Human Trafficking, Part 1
(from May 22, 2013)  Listen to Linda Smith discusses State Report Cards regarding domestic trafficking and methods, and "Brianna" shares her personal story of being recruited by traffickers.

Focus on the Family's Radio Broadcast:  Exposing the Dark World of Human Trafficking, Part 2 (from May 23, 20118)  Listen to hear about "Lacy" and how her pimp trapped her and later threatened to expose her activities to her church youth group.

Watch the trailer for Chosen, a video/documentary about trafficking.

Watch a trafficking awareness video from Shared Hope

Watch Do You Know Lacy?, a video about what a typical victim looks like and personal testimony of a victim

If for some reason the links do not work, then you can find the radio shows by going to the broadcast archives at www.focusonthefamily.com 
To find the videos, simply search for the Shared Hope International Channel on Youtube.

I know this is not a pleasant issue, and it may seem overwhelming and impossible to defeat, but we must start somewhere.  Thankfully, organizations like Shared Hope and so many more are already actively involved in pulling children and other victims out of the darkness.  Let's figure out how each of us can do something to help end this form of slavery that still exists in our country and in our world.